Life is colourful but....

Before you guys start reading. I would like to remind you peps that this post is full of words.

Time passed really fast. With a blink of an eye, 4 months had already passed. I miss my form 3 life. The joy of running around, playing a fool, and studying with friends is stuck to my mind. The images of my past year is a constant reminder of how fun schooling can be. However,this year, the science subjects struck fear into me especially additional maths. I had difficulty hanging on. I find it very difficult to understand things. Sometimes I just feel like breaking apart.

After the first term examination, I took the initiative to revise everyday. Somehow, something is keeping me away from books. Everytime I study, I will doze off.

Now, everything is bad for me. I keep get stomachaches and headaches,the busy life of a secretary is getting to me, and the challenging life of a girl guide is killing me, psychologically and physically. The stress had got to me and hell is breaking loose. I seek for support but not even my family is there for me. The arguments at home tears me apart, for the sight of arguments between family members is always a painful thing. Friends are not usually true and I refuse to trust them entirely with all my feelings and secrets. Sometimes I try to seek support from him, but I know, he will not be there for me everytime I need him. All I had to do is to rely on myself and try my best to get over everything by myself.

I cry for no reasons sometimes. Some people ask me why, but I couldn't tell them how I truly feel, the way things had gone for me and the things that had happened to me. I pray every single day, hoping life would change, hoping that there will be a turning point in my life right now. I ask God, why did he give me such a miserable year. I've got no answer, but deep down my heart, I knew God had given me such a year for some reasons that I will never know.

As I lay on my bed every night, I think about everything that had happened. I believed that this was a test made only for me. I try to convince myself to think about the positives and have faith in everything I do.

I am sitting here at this very second, still wondering what life has to offer. All I can do is just pray for the better and believe in myself.

Signing off,
Michelle The Great! (:
Just hold me in your arms, make me believe that you're the one. [:

Ilovenicholas